Saturday, September 10, 2005

What happens...stuff happens.

Dawn came. Orange and Pink, as the sun rose over hills of sand, she heard the splash of new water added to the horse tank. It was the place where the cattle came to be watered when they got moved from pasture in the Fall.

Sharon thought it must be the most wonderful time of the year, as the air crisped, and it was too warm for ice to form on the tank, but cool enough that a sweatshirt felt good in the morning.

This was her meditation time, she thought of God, she thought of the Creator, said her prayers. A Black Angus steer ambled up warily, took his postion at the tank as far as he could from her and still drink. He purposely ignored her, she watched as he drank his fill, her mind distracted.

It would soon be time to wake, Jon. He left her to do the early morning simple chores,absently she shut the water off at the corral pump, walked to the old wooden gate that would lead back to the house.

Sharon reached the mobile home with its twenty-five year old green and white siding bent from past storms, of wind and rain. This was home, the place the hired hand lived, part of the compensation for working there. Jon, was hired to fence, doctor cattle, hay, feed cattle, care for them.

Some would call him a cowboy, but whatever he was she had lived with him for 12 years now. When he took the job, she came along, because she was his roomie, and friend.

Sharon soon learned that she was expected to work too, not that she minded so much . It was just she was a not quite. Not quite in tune with the land, not quite in tune with the critters, never quite knowing how to deal with isolation., all of which were part of the life. She grew into it, though, not a perfect fit, but good enough to get by.

She started to think on the things that had brought her here. The marriages ended, finding out an ex had abused her children.

Change and more change.

Last of all, but not least, the finding out that her body had rebelled. Finding out she had Lymphedema, and she changed physically.

Rounding the corner to walk into the house,opening the door...The old movie cliche': "Saddle up! Day's a wasting" came to mind. She called: "Jon, time to wake up."

©2005 Carol McFarland. Used with permission.

This is just a word picture, hope you enjoy it. Not really anything but a word snap shot, a moment in time. Any of you visual artist want to illustrate it please do. We need your input, feel free to contact coyote to become a contributer.


Friday, September 09, 2005

Found my Way?

Having found my way,
sometimes wonder if I saw that tree before,
Circling upon myself.

The woods are dark,
sometimes wonder if I should light a fire,
Illuminating acceptance.

Around and around,
Sometimes lost sometimes found,
But always woods walking.

Never give up, never give up looking
For the trail..
For the trail that ends complete.

©2005 Carol McFarland. Used with permission.

Fire Cave , revisited

Burning in my soul, having found myself to be different,
Somehow not normal, I let the affliction burn me better.
Staying free within the flame.

Come To know, What others do not,
If you burn in the Cave,
You do not burn within the hell of self-pity.

Staying within knowing that fire purifies,
Realizing that what I look like is not who I am.
I live in the Fire Cave.

©2005 Carol McFarland. Used with permission.

My story started 4 1/2 years ago when I was diagnosed with secondary Lymphedema. I was hospitalized for a month almost loosing my leg and my life. I was in despair. I thought I was the only one to have this in the whole world. Then I discovered cyberspace, and support groups, that there were others just like me.
I "met" Coyote in one of these groups. She invited me to join this blog. After much deliberation, I thought I would share my words with you. It is my hope that they help you to live in hope.

Please share your stories with us, and your talent. Let others know that you are much more than a LE suffer, caregiver, that you have a painting, a poem, a gift that you are willing to share with those who will see, or listen.

Thursday, September 08, 2005

"Fire Cave"

© 2005 Julie M. Ellis Posted by Picasa